So today’s post is not a yummy recipe or a clever craft…it’s just me talkin’. I’ve had a rough few weeks., and I feel like I need to yap!
I have had the weight of the world on my shoulders, it seems. And with no reprieve. Things that normally didn’t ruffle my feathers, seemed to be causing my feathers to fall right out. My patience had flown the coop. Along with my good mood. And most importantly, my confidence. My life just seemed too hard. And for the first time in a LOOOONG time, I felt like giving in. You know that feeling? The one that makes you wanna climb back in your bed and never come out? Ya. I’m sure you have a very clear picture.
I could go on about how my job was getting me down, being a single mum was wearing on me…blah blah blah. But really, it’s just complaining! Fact is, life is hard. My job is hard, and most of the time thankless.
So, the other day I took the kids out and we stole some lilacs from the city boulevard. We got soaked, as it had recently rained. We got eaten alive by mosquitoes, as it had recently rained. But we went away smiling. And most importantly, I went away smiling. And as I breathed in that heady scent, I realized something. These trees bloom year after year in our city. After a long, harsh winter, they come back. Some of the bushes are sparse this year…not as many blooms. A little scraggly and worse for wear. But they are trying. They are trying to do the most important thing…bloom.
And so, I made a decision. To do the hardest thing with all that weight on my shoulders. To bloom anyway. Corny, right? Bahahahahaha!! Well I say, “Whatever it takes, baby!” But I’ll say one thing…it’s not easy. THIS is the hard job. To gather up what little wisps of strength you have left and get on with it. Show your pretty colours where you are right now. Quit watching everyone else around you and wishing for their life. Stop whining about that big ol’ lilac tree next to you with all the beautiful blooms hanging off it. Start figuring out how to fix you. Nurture yourself.
So I have filled my home with these sturdy, yet delicate little blossoms as a reminder to myself. A reminder to make a conscious decision to do my best at what I’m doing. I get that it’s not going to happen overnight. Those frostbitten, sunburned, scraggly worn out lilac trees are making a comeback. Every time I drive by, I see a little more purple. So I breathe in the scent as I breathe back in my confidence. My patience. My smile. And everyday, I hope to see a little more purple…
Because I am trying my darndest to do the most important thing…to bloom.
Thanks for stopping by! Now go steal some lilacs! It will make you smile!
(And I promise a recipe next time!!)