My 7-year-old daughter and 11-year-old son often get into a debate over the concept that “nothing’s impossible.” Coco thinks if you believe it’s possible, then it is. Her older brother Birdie thinks otherwise. Coco will stand her ground without budging. She believes deep inside her bones that if she can imagine it happening, then it absolutely will happen, she just can’t give up trying.
There was a day when Birdie thought the same way.
Somewhere, in the process of growing up, he lost some of this childlike faith in the “impossible.”
I am stuck somewhere in the middle. I admire Coco’s drive and determination. Her faith in herself to make things happen is strong. She has the capacity to imagine a world for herself where there are no limits. I also understand where Birdie is coming from…he has enough years under his belt to see some disappointment. He’s become more realistic. But this also brings a little sadness to my soul.
So what’s a mama to do?
I want to encourage Coco. In fact, I want to feel the same way she does. That I CAN do it if I set my mind to it. But I doubt. And with my own doubt, comes an inclination to tell Coco that maybe not EVERYTHING is possible.
But I don’t. I keep my doubts to myself and hope she doesn’t ever stop believing in herself. Ever.
Mamas? I could use your opinions…
Thanks for stopping by,
~Arlee, Small Potatoes
Small Potatoes 
Just keep up what you are doing 🙂
I want to be able to think like that again, too. “Her faith to make things happen is strong.” I love that phrase. Let her believe. Besides, little girls especially need that fostered in their lives. The world as it is already doubts their capabilities. I agree, keep doing what you’re doing. 🙂 Your son might be a great “de-bunker” in the future, and he sounds like a great balance for your daughter — it seems like they make the other’s beliefs stronger. This is quite the dynamic duo!
Such truth. Girls DO need this kind of fostering in their lives…thank you :):)
Maybe we all have to think like Coco, I don’t know if you now The Secret book but is all about believe in your self and everything is possible if you think it is, then your daughter is totally right!
Have a nice weekend!
I have this book…and when I actually practice believing…it’s surprising what comes about. Thank you for the reminder!! 🙂
Continue doing what you are doing. As the mother of a 32 y/o son and a 30 y/o daughter, I have never told them that something is impossible. Our daughter, to this day, goes after what she wants and does whatever it takes to achieve it. Our son is less adventurous, of his own choosing, and very happy being that way. I believe it’s our “job” as parents to encourage our children; and they will develop their own level of adventure. They learn, on their own, that disappointments do happen. I taught my kids that what matters is how you react to the disappointments. Never discourage. Let each child be who they are. They will be great!
“what matters is how you react to the disappointments” — This! Such an important life lesson. I’m glad to hear that your children are grown and happy pursuing life on their own terms.
Thank you, Dena. It’s nice to hear this from someone who has walked the path before me. 🙂 Very encouraging!
This is one of the things that makes a mom’s job so challenging and joyful….I believe we take on the responsibility to open the hearts of our children to see possibilities AND understand realities. However, we need to be constantly mindful that each child’s reality is a different reality from our own (and their siblings). Everyone feels, tastes and touches life differently, with potential for the greatest joys and unspeakable pain. I too envy Coco’s fearlessness!
I love this. Nearly made me cry. I have really smart Aunties, and for that I am truly grateful. xo
I think Coco is on to something……it is that unfailing faith in possibility and ourselves that always leads us to our greatest success! Maybe it’s that sometimes the thoughts of a 7 year old are a little whimisical and maybe not so realistic, but hopefully she will keep the determined belief in possibility as she grows and her dreams become more reality based. I love that they are debating at their tender ages….nothing wrong with a good debate!!! You and your kids are amazing!!!
Karen, your response has given me goosebumps. Perfectly said. Thank you sooo much for this perspective. 🙂 Say hi to Emm for us!
I love this!! The world needs more boundless optimism. 🙂 But I can see your dilemma — as adults, life has taught us to have “realistic” expectations in order to avoid the pain of disappointment. I think all that can be done as a parent is to encourage kids to dream, give them the support and guidance to succeed, and to help them see what they’ve gained from a so-called “failure”. Channel disappointment into something else productive, and help them know that no matter what the outcome, the important thing is that they tried. Even wanting to fly or growing wings isn’t impossible these days, with the right encouragement — “If you want to do that, become a scientist!” 🙂
everyone needs someone in their corner cheering them on…. I say you are doing an amazing job from what I see and hear, and think that continuing to cheer her on, never doubting will serve her well! (And it sounds like it does your heart good too!)
Tell her that everything IS possible – but that it is ok if it doesn’t work out the first time. As Einstein said, you never fail until you stop trying.
I tend to be more like Coco… My husband more like Birdie. I give my husband “the look” when he starts to give my son a caution of “realism”… Just for an example, if my son says his soccer team is going to win every game, my husband would probably say, “Well, you know son, you never know… The other team might be really, really good… You can’t win them all…” I would probably give my husband a “Why would you say that??” kind of look. My husband worries about him becoming too confident/arrogant or getting setup for disappointment, whereas I parent more towards “the sky’s the limit!…. And beyond!” kind of way. The art contest that my boy just won?? While he was creating that art, he told me, “I think is probably good enough for 2nd place, but it might not win.” and I said, “Dude, go all out! Go for first! You never know what could happen.” I won’t take credit for his win… That was all him. But I’m sure glad that I was thinking positive for him. 😉
PS-From everything I’ve read/seen of you, I think you are much more of a Coco than a Birdie, in this aspect. Especially when it comes to believing in your smalls. Now we just need to think that way for ourselves too. Hugs!
everything IS possible if you believe strongly enough. . . . some things just take more time/effort than we are willing to give them! The Wright brothers spent a lifetime believing in . . .and working on their dream of flight! I think we can all learn from the limitless thinking of children ❤